Howdy lovers

Maybe it’s the warm weather, or the cosmos, or the rest, but I am feeling vibrant and engaged and fierce and soft – all at the same time. I imagine, you might be feeling the same way.

When I ask the question, “What if you were fine…” I don’t mean to invite complacency. The point isn’t to freeze in our current state with a bold holler of “I am perfect and require no change whatsoever!”

Instead, I am inviting you to see your journey as a path through a map. If you’ve ever done any adventuring with a map (hello the beginning of my career in the ambulance when we didn’t have GPS and instead used a series of map books to navigate to 911 calls, oi vey) you know that you may be able to locate your destination but it is quite meaningless if you do not know where exactly your feet are standing. In this we see one of the core values of my lineage:

You cannot know where you are going, 

if you do not first know where you are.

And let me tell you. It can be painful to become aware, with truth, of our current circumstance. To see the ways we abandon ourselves, the ways we limit ourselves. The ways our environment no longer serves. Because once we see with truth, once we find our feet on the map, we cannot help but begin to trek forward. And that’s scary. That’s change. That’s growth. That’s discomfort. That’s freedom.

But the thing is, we will never become aware, truthfully aware, of ourselves if we approach with judgement. With hatred. Like a baby kitten (I know, I know, forgive me) hiding under the deck, she will not come out if you yell and snarl, no matter how true your intention. She requires coaxing, understanding, assurance and patience. She needs to know she is fine where she is and will be even better should she accept the tuna in your palm and the cuddles soon to come.

And so I ask again. What if you were just fine? What if you had room to grow and also accepted that this spot, right here, is absolutely necessary for what is yet to come? And what if, with that acceptance comes an awareness that clears the path ahead. 

I practiced this as a mantra, a meditation, a daily inquiry for years before I knew what it meant. If it feels ugly right now, that’s okay. Invite patience.

If you’re feeling called towards some forward momentum and wish for a companion for this leg of your journey, I am waiting for you.

By your side,

This letter was sent via email to subscribers on May 17, 2024. Join the email list to get the next one in your inbox!